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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

virginity gained,, well kind of

i remember the drive to be so old so grown up so mature,, when is the watershed on that , i mean is there a set time an age where, we just revert and start going backwards, if there is then what age is that , when we are no longer striving to be older, or younger,, maybe 35,, is that the perfect age, if so i wish i could go back to then and enjoy the peaceful ambivalence of not feeling uncomfortably young, or uneasily too old,, when grow up is no longer levelled at you and mutton dressed up as lamb is not waved over you,, bring me back to the adult steady easy with your self time,, before we start on the fight of our lives which is,, ageing gracefully,, no i don't meant that staving off the wrinkles and middle aged spread as if they were marauding troops at the door,, I'm i too dramatic, well I'm regressing so see if i care,,,,thoughts on a postcard please, or a blog comment even better,,when was the last time i got a postcard, that's sad isn't it, bloody Internet

2 comments:

  1. These thoughts have probably been echoed by millions Gill, especially women. I myself have wished away large parts of my life ; wish I could leave school(which I actually loved),be 18 (could legally drink), be 21(cause it was cooler than 18), could finish my nurse training, get married, have kids and now its my next day off or holiday. Have found myself over the years trying to re-live through my daughter (although would never admit that to her), especially with regards to her friends, my advice always being to cherish the time at school as these are without a doubt the best years of your life and you never make the same kind of friends again....my memories with mine being Lanimer day at the Racecourse, up Lanark Loch with the latest boyfriend or down New Lanark, sixth year common room, YM discos.etc..good times. Before I knew it I was 30 years of age and felt very content, 2 lovely children, nice life etc etc, and like you say 'not feeling uncomfortably young, or uneasily too old'. Now 'nature' has stepped in, just as we are getting further away from the ages we fondly remember....it gives us........FACEBOOK. ...A chance to get in touch with those who have flitted in and out of our lives and who we havent seen since leaving Lanark Grammer in 1984.....We are young again, and with a new found fondness for all those who have come back into our lives. ........Now its just the creaking bones and wrinkles to work on!!!!.................x

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  2. I don't think I have ever been uncomfortable about my age. It's just a part of the journey. Nothing we can do about it so why let it be an issue. The thing is I still feel somewhere between 28 and 36. OK physically I'm fu@k$d. Let me rephrase that. Physically I am more Fu$k*d than I used to be. but mentally I happy with where I am. Sure there are things in life that I would perhaps wish to be better than they currently are but age, or winding back the clock would not make these any better. If stepping back in time woud be looked upon as an opportunity to try things a bit different than you handled them the first time round then I can see the appeal in that but the paradox is that if we go back and do anything different then we don't end up where we are now. And where I am now is not an altogether bad place. I kinda like me. Maybe it is different for girls. If it's looks that cause the worry then rest assured that beauty is a vision that changes in the eye of the beholder to take account not only of the physical appearance but of something deeper, something.... better. When it comes to rekindling old friendships then this can be a lot of fun but the important people in my life have always been important, are still important, will always be important. Even if we don't touch base as often as we should/ could. It is very comforting to pick up a friendship where it left off after days, months, or even years later. So don't fret my friend. Know that you are already fantastic and like most good things on this earth will only get better with age.

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